Since I last left you I had discovered the truest form of happiness... World Domination.
I have mused on how to create my army. There are many different ways to build an army. For example, I can hire mercenaries. They have a history of impressive feats and getting the job done. Too bad they think too much and demand pay. They also have no loyalty, except to the highest bidder of course. In the end, I would have to worry about someone paying them to dethrone me. Can't have that....
I could build an army of machine warriors. They would be practically indestructible, fully loyal and never get tired. These machine warriors would break through the defenses of my enemies and NEVER DIE... because they're not really alive. Sadly though, they are too expensive to make. Seriously, have you seen that Honda Robot Azimov? It cost like six million dollars to design and didn't even include weapons or combat systems and can barely walk. Can you imagine how much that will cost. At least like six million and one dollars. And then there's production costs and labor. Even with forced labor the parts alone will break the bank.
I could always tie myself to the occult and make a dark pack with the Darkest of Dark beings. Unknown to the world is the insanity and power of the "Other" world. The greatest of creatures and most terrifying of aberrations will be unleashed. My enemies would go insane not trusting their senses. Perhaps, they would be consumed with fear and be unable to leave their homes ever again. Sadly though, there is a high price to this dark pack. One of the aberrations I summon could quite possibly be the spirit of my dearly departed Great Aunt Havisham. A dreadful woman indeed. The risk is too great, far too great to have to deal with that woman. Who knows, perhaps even they would drive me quite even madder than I already am.
I could enlist the aid of the fantasy creatures of yore. Yes, YES!!!! Dragons and trolls, goblins and orcs. They would suit my purposes well. They could bring ruin to my enemies. Dragons can fly through the air and breath death from the skies. Trolls could crash through the walls of my enemies smashing and bashing all the way through to the heart of their complex. Lets not forget the goblins and orcs. Goblins can wreak havoc on the robots they so foolishly built where I was smart enough to avoid. The orcs in their massive hoards can spread through the landscape and pillage all of the resources I could ever need... Oh wait.... these creatures aren't real. Oh well, the trolls would probably just find themselves arguing with people in the VideoTube comment section anyways.
Hmmmmm, none of these are just quite right. What can the solution be?!
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